


When the War is Over

by Starfire (kalypsobean)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Pre-Relationship, Steve Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-04-26
Packaged: 2018-01-20 20:22:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1524311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalypsobean/pseuds/Starfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve doesn't want to hurt anyone again, but he has a type, and if the war ends, well, now he knows she'll be there. (During/post CA2)</p>
            </blockquote>





	When the War is Over

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tielan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tielan/gifts).



> Title from the song of the same name by John Farnham (and others, I suppose, but his is the only version I know).

Steve has a type, which he's sure that Natasha would find hilarious, which is why he never tells her. It's bad enough that she can find someone, anywhere, who would like a date with him; he doesn't need her bringing in someone he has no good reason to turn down. Of course, he could say that dating co-workers is a bad idea, but that thing Natasha has with Clint means she would probably ignore that one, whatever it is.

He makes a point of not knowing any more than the very basic details, like 'where they live' and 'how to get away from them to be alone', about the people he works with. Privacy is something he would like, so he affords it to others. Most of the time, it works.

In emergencies, it doesn't, and there's been a fair few of those; more than there should be, which is a fairly good indication that something big is about to go down.

"Too busy," he tells Natasha, and on the way down he wonders who is next on her list of possible partners, or if it's something she makes up just to see how he reacts. He wouldn't put it past her.

That's why she's not his type. Although, she's getting close, the next one is an agent. 

 

Of course, things do go rather far south after that mission, so he barely gets time to revisit the topic, let alone act on it. It's quite strange, after everything, when he gets some time to sit with Peggy and just be himself without all the baggage of being Captain America. He doesn't get that very often, and with Peggy, it's like it could have been, except talking with her each time is like a microcosm of how their relationship began and ended, all in a few minutes. Almost, and then, life. He was buried in ice while the world was practically redesigned, and she forgets. He will never know what it would have been like.

 

He plans to go searching for Bucky, when it's all done, but he has no idea where to look and of course, being essentially the face of S.H.I.E.L.D., it's even more difficult for him to move anonymously. He's used to going out there without any kind of barrier or disguise, confident that he can win any battle thrust upon him, until the war is over. But, like culture and food and the balance of power, the very nature of war has changed, and it never ends. The threat is never extinguished, it is just forced to run, and people like him have to chase it, or be chased, until bit-by-bit, room is made for something new to grow in its place.

Maybe he really doesn't have time, but he finds himself at Avengers Tower anyway, without really planning it, and he walks in before he can talk himself out of it. Miraculously, or perhaps because of Tony's money and the pervasive idea that he can still make a nuke if he wanted to, the government have not tried to take it from them, yet. Steve is learning to be cynical, where it becomes a tactical advantage to understand where the other side may choose to move, but it is not something he likes; not his distrust, or the feeling that even he might not be safe. It would be irresponsible to start anything now, like it was before, and that was cut short enough.

 

His passcard still works, and he presses the highest button on the panel. Things are not like they used to be, he notes, as he passes laboratories and offices with names he doesn't have time to read. It is only seconds until the glass doors open into a living area, richly coloured and already populated.

"I'll just leave you to it, then." Tony says. He still has his glass in one hand and the bottle in the other. "Rogers," he says, as he dodges around Steve and steps into the elevator, departing before Steve can even return the greeting or offer to come back later.

"Steve," Maria says, and if that was unexpected, well, he might have to believe in fate. He smiles, as best he can, and nods, because that's polite, and when he's around her and not in uniform, he gets tongue-tied and it's really not as adorable as Natasha says, not that she would know.

"I won't bother you," he says, and makes for the door, the one that should go out to a balcony where he can look down on the world and be in it without having them look back at him.

"You aren't," she says, and he sits, because she has that same determined look that she had in the hospital, and he doesn't want to think about that now, but he can't help it, he sees her then and as she is now and he can't tell them apart. She doesn't press him to talk, after that, and he's, if he's honest, a bit relieved about that, until he isn't, and she does.

"So what have you been up to?" she asks, and she's not asking as his boss, or ex-boss, or almost-boss, however it ended up being. Her eyes are gentle, no longer set or steeled, and he realises that she's relaxed, in the same way he has, or came up here to be.

"I went to see Peggy again, Agent Carter," he says, clarifying because it feels disrespectful to talk about her so intimately, with her. 

"That's really nice of you," she says. So he keeps talking; about he sees Peggy at least once a week, and sometimes she doesn't remember that he was even gone, or who he is, but he thinks she always knows he's been there, later on.

"I don't have to be this other person with her, the one everyone looks up to, or down at, as things are now," he says, and he looks up from his hands to find Maria looking at him, this time more softly. She's very expressive, when she isn't in uniform, and it surprises him every time.

"You don't have to be that around me, either," she says; it looks like she's going to say more, even the air is heavy with it, like one of those life-defining moments is about to happen, but then her phone rings and the tension is gone, shattered.

It's never the right time, and the war will never end. She apologises, even takes the call in front of him, but he does her the courtesy of pretending not to listen.

"You should ask Tony if he has anything to help you find James," she says, before she stands. For a brief second, her hand is on his shoulder, and it could have been more if he turned around, looked up at her, and if she didn't have to leave. 

There's still a war, and they're still in it, and maybe when he's defeated enough that there's room for it, he'll ask her for a drink, but he won't make a promise he can't keep, not again. He thinks she knows, because she looks back at him, before the elevator is back and it takes her away.


End file.
